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With everyday that passes by, it gets more apparent that there's nothing here for me anymore.

Dear Pretty Women,

I'm shy and intimidated.

You seem to catch my eye,
While I fumble along trying to catch my breath.

When you look at me,
I only look away because I'm trying to hide...

Something?

It's nice when you stare, but it's also scary.

I like it when you talk to me,
but I don't look at you, probably because I'll get distracted.

It doesn't make sense to me either.

I suck at these things.

In the end I'm probably just the type to play the 'oh shit' game and panic.

Yeah, I don't know how to drop my guard.

Ehh...

Forget women, I'm just trying to have fun. And if 'fun' is getting involved with a woman someday, then I'll let it be. But for now, it doesn't look that way and i'll just find my infinite well of 'fun' from other sources.

That well is currently school and my future. Okay so, honestly planning is a pain in the ass. Hey, but what's love without the struggle? You only put yourself though hell because you love what you're doing. And at that point, not even hell itself can stop you from loving what you love. It's nice to be passionate and dream about achieving those dreams that you have fallen in love with. At some point, love will eventually bring you to that point where they're not dreams anymore because you're making it happen.

I like it when things happen.

My agenda grows bigger everyday. Get my Masters, work and make a living, get my PhD. Ultimately becoming a college professor, inspiring students like (some of) my professors have done for me. Do this, do that, yada, yada, yada. I have no idea what drives me to such goals, but I hardly think anyone can understand me. On top of that, I'm so immature and so 'outside the box'.

It's a weird combination, an immature over-achiever. How does it work?






Yeah....







...I don't know either.

Either way....I'll make it somehow, someway.

Yes, I'll never get anymore mature...

Meanwhile, caught in all the hype of the recent death of Micheal Jackson: (may he rest in peace) I (like many others) proceeded to watch various works of his, mostly his videos. So while I was browsing the galleries of youtube. I came across the music video for "Scream".



I obviously started watching it and you know, it's a good song. However, that's not what caught my attention. As I was watching it, it eventually came to the part where it's Micheal dancing on the wall and all over the floor....

there were bumble balls.

And along with that site came many fond memories of my childhood and how I used to own one of these facinating anomalies. I remember 'oogling' over it's rotating motor and it's random movements which seem to come more out of an impulse, rather than a premeditate move.


Nowadays these kids have these toys that talk, think, piss, and probably soon enough take a shit. I'd probably have more fun with a bumble ball other than the robotic dogs of today. See, I would put my bumble ball on the edge of stairs and turn it on and just watch that thing fall down the stairs. Course I'd probably end up running after it and then doing it all over again, but being that young, I only had to worry about the battery dying. Eventually I got a little more creative and put small lego type of structures at the bottom. Those were the days...

I'm glad they still make these things... Except they only make it for pets now.



I'm still going to buy my kids one. Do you think it's weird that I still remember what the rubber things taste like?

Working Wonders

I love my life.

I love where I am.

I love myself.

I love my friends.

I love my family.

I love God.

I love who I am.

I love who I'm starting to become.

I love to pray because it's given me all of the above.