Aesthetic

I really haven't written lately, probably cause I'm lazy. There's class tomorrow, I always pick the worst times to do this.

Anyway,

I haven't had much time to contemplate life. I remember when I just used to sit here and think, about life. Why? Cause there's nothing else to think about. You're mind just tends to wander yanno? I don't do that anymore, and it's probably due to the fact that I'm trying to get out there and just experience everything.

Apparently, this is what happens when you start to experience more of life instead of sitting there trying to evaluate and make reasons for anything that needs a reason. I mean, it does make sense though, you won't find your reasons unless you find out for yourself what the experience is like. It sounds easy, but it's not THAT easy.

That's why I dropped my quests to find reasons for everything that needs a reason. Well, I might as well drop all the other quests, because there's no point. It's like trying to get a date. Every time you fail you're only going to feel bad about yourself and tell yourself horrible things about yourself that probably aren't true. You're only hurting yourself. See there's no point in hurting yourself because of the obvious. It stops you from smiling. It stops you from laughing. It makes you cry. There's no point, because it stops you from enjoying what life truly has to offer. Life does not suck, It's the way we carry ourselves that make it or break it.

If you ask me about the dating game now:
As far as I'm concerned, I KNOW I'm not Brad Pitt, but I also know that I'm not hopeless.

Learn by experience and have fun doing it. I guess it's just a matter of keeping life to the minimum of just having good times with good people. In the end you just end up seeing a lot of beautiful things.

Thank GOD, I know and love a lot of good people.

5:44 a.m.

It's the time I've been waking up every morning since school ended. I think there might be something wrong with me.

3:34 a.m.

http://www.imeem.com/butzpeteza/playlist/o8PF92op/hillsong-united-all-of-the-above-music-playlist/

I always listen to the last track repeatedly for 6 hours straight. I KID YOU NOT!

So I finally finished all my Analytical Chem Labs.(Anal Chem for short and yes, it does live up to it's name) and well, obviously China Nite's been over for the past 3 weeks now They were both pretty tough to handle. Too bad life's only going to get more harder and testy. Who cares though? I honestly think the level of difficulty is NEVER a sufficient excuse. Besides are challenges really a bad thing? ;D

But anyway, back to Anal Chem... Yeah it's a class, but did you ever think you can learn more than what's stated in the course description? Like more about yourself perhaps? Or maybe a class that kinda changes you. To be honest, I feel different, and the culprit is Anal Chem.

So how different do I feel?

Well, I never had problems academic wise that I couldn't handle and I would rarely ask for help. (Really I could only think of 2-3 instances where I actually asked before this class came around) So being me, I walked my little environmental science self into a class filled with all Chem. majors. I was intimidated. They were smart, they all understood the material, and they all seemed to know each other very well. Nothing new to me, except, I couldn't figure anything out the first few weeks. From there, it kind of just built up and well I ended up getting to know 85% of the class just because I was the shy, quiet Asian kid with glasses who always needed help. They were all willing to help me, they were all so kind, and they really helped me get through this class. (and there was this one girl who was really cute) I can't thank them enough.

I'm not used to asking for help and I just don't do it, not because of pride, but because I'm so used to traveling alone. It's all I know, it's all I've experienced (this is not me being angry, or emo). I just never receive things so when I do it just makes me feel weird and I'm just not used to it. However, this class has kind of taught me that if you don't know, then someone else probably does. To my own surprise, towards the end of the semester, I became that somebody else.

So, yeah I'm Marvin and to me life's one huge ass class with so much to learn. And now I think there's more to learn every time you ask someone for help.

Knowing me, I don't want to stop learning....

ever.