Here it comes...

So, a couple hours ago I was ranting about how lazy I was. Well, not so much anymore. It seems as if in a matter of hours, goals are created and a new vision for at least the next three months has been set. The work ethic is back, the drive is back, and more importantly the motivation is back. Like I have always been saying "I really need to apply myself.". I feel like I can go back to that now. I'm capable of so many things. I don't even know or understand why I let myself get so idle.

I guess it only goes back to my one and only true enemy, the bitch I love to hate but still sleep with at night, her name is Sloth. It's really an unfair affair, I mean she just has so much power over me, what she has to offer is just so appealing. Oh, and I love to indulge and just lie in her presence forever. She's so sweet to me sometimes... OK more like all the time. The light touch of her lips, just makes everything disappear. And all the noise, all gone. It feels good to forget, it feels good to get away, and it most definitely feels good to give in.

Or am I just giving in because she feels so good? I guess I'm not as defiant as I used to be.

Stupid Bitch......

So what happens, theoretically, if I let her take advantage of me. If I indulged on purpose just to take some sort of mental vacation. The truth is, college is depressing, life is depressing, and freakin' this whole world's pretty depressing. Sometimes it's so easy to lose goals, especially when everything around you is going wrong. And apparently, the only way to escape it is to fall in love with someone and just lay with him or her forever ( it doesn't even have to be someone, it could be sloth for example). It's not easy being alone, it's so easy to be discouraged, knowing that you stand against everything, all by yourself. Sometimes I like to say I've gotten used to it.

And I have, except I wasn't really alone when I realized it. "I can do all things through the Lord who gives me strength.". I'll tell you that, I'm freaking awesome because of this quote. It's gotten me so far in life and it's taking me great distances to bed, bath, and beyond. It's kind of scary, but I think about it every morning. It's actually one of the first things I think about. I don't have much to say except, I don't think I could live without it (the quote), or Him at that matter.

Well, whatever. I need to sleep I have a presentation tomorrow as well as a lot of other things to think about. Yeah, that's a lie, I don't think I just do. Or at least, I like to think I do.

Either way, I probably won't write in this for awhile.